so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
