I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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