so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
