nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
