Well apparently he's into motor boating.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
