Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
