we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
