Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
