I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
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She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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