We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
