How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
