Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
