Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
