Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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