Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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