you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
