I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
