she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize