I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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