I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
