Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
