she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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