ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
