she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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