I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
