im six kinds of drunk right now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
