Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
