I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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