that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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