There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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