Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
