I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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