Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dear god my vagina.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
