Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
