I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
