her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
