Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
