Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
do herpes really smell.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
