it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dick very happy bro
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
