So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
