Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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