What did we do last night that was yellow?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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