I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
operation harelip BJ is a go
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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