Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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