There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
