R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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