so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
