I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
