Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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