i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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