The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Its about making memories worth repressing
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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