Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
