I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
