You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
