So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
