your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
