dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
