I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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