SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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