is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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