What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
