I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
