Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
