and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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