therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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