Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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