I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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