Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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